WOMANS WAY
Monday, 5 September 2011
Real Life By Pauline Dunne
“CARL WAS GONE, THEY COULDN’T
GET HIM BACK”
Cardiac risk in the young is every parents nightmare. Mother Sandra Malone from Dublin tells us her story of her son Carl.
“Carl was perfectly healthy, not a bother on him. He was an awful messer really, he always had good fun with all his mate and friends in school,. He was six foot one and a black belt kick boxer, and he was assistant instructor in a kick boxing club as well, so he was a very healthy child. Never had any health problems or anything.” Sandra Malone is reminiscing about her son Carl who died of sudden cardiac arrest on Friday, November 13, 2009. He was only 16-years old.
“He came home from school, he was in great humour. He went out to collect his girlfriend Shauna from the bus stop, it was lashing rain. I was giving out because they got wet coming back and he was just laughing goin, “Ah we’re grand, we’re going into the back room”. They always went in there where the telly was, and they’d ordered pizza and they got their pizza delivered.”
“They went into the back room and they were eating their pizza and then watching TV, then about nine o’clock or a little after, Shauna came rushing in and said there was something wrong with Carl, he didn’t answer her”.
Sandra and her husband Tony ran in to where Carl was sitting, with a very strange expression on his face. Sandra rang the ambulance straight away, while Tony and Shauna performed CPR on Carl.
“The fire engine was the first to arrive with the medics on it and they put us out of the room and worked on him for 20 or 25 minutes, then the ambulance arrived. I felt that once the fire engine and the medics got there that Carl was going to be fine.
“Myself and Shauna got into the car and my husband and my older son got into another car and we followed the ambulance up. When we arrived at the hospital the doctors were working on him for the few minutes before we went in. We went in and they just said to us that Carl was gone, they couldn’t get him back.”
“They were doing CPR on him when they said that I just said to them, ‘Please don’t stop until my husband gets here, you cant’ stop’ so they kept going and they said. “We’ll do this as long as we have to, but just to let you now we’re getting no response whatsoever.’ My husband got there and they told him the same. That was actually an hour after Shauna had run into us to say there was something wrong with Carl. Really in the end they said that he passed away instantly in the house. The fire brigade never got him back, or the ambulance never got him back. It was just instant”.
In Tallaght Hospital there is a Cardiac Risk for Younger Persons unit which offers a free screening and counselling service for anyone with a condition as well as family members who have lost someone.
Sandra’s husband Tony was in printing and had just delivered leaflets to the CRY offices three weeks before Carl died. He hadn’t thought he’d ever need their services, but unfortunately he did.
“They got in touch with us straight away and they explained what sudden adult death syndrome was. They brought the whole family in about three or four weeks after Carl died and they tested everyone and said everyone was fine”.
“We’re sort of at the age where it doesn’t really matter to us, but they will bring my eldest son Shane, who’s nearly 21, in to check for another year or two. My younger son Alex, who is only seven, will be going in every year until he’s about 18 or 20 to make sure that everything is fine with his heart.
“I think you get used to it, but will never get over it”
It affects for a long time after, worrying about the other children, but it really helps a lot for them to say they’re fine. Yet, if I had of brought Carl to the doctor on the day, which I said to the girl in CRY, and she just said “Well why do you bring a healthy child to the doctor? You just don’t do it”.
Sandra and her family are doing the best they can do after such a tragedy.
“On a daily basis you’re okay, you’re kind of getting through the days, but nothing will ever be the same. It’s taken the good out of life. I think you get used to it, but will never get over it.
A chunk of your heart is just gone. You try to move on but nothing has the same meaning or the same joy, the same fun, nothing at all. But we’ll plod along, what we’re trying to do mostly is keep Alex as busy and as happy as Carl was. One thing I don’t want to do is make them feel that because this happened, we’re too upset to care about them. Because obviously we do care about them so much and just want them to be happy now.”
Shauna, Carl’s girlfriend, is also trying to move on: “Carl and Shauna, for young kids, they were just so close. They were going out for two-and-a-half years. On that night she was just a total pillar of strength trying to help him.”
“Shauna was the love of his life. I do wish her well, and I know she has to move on in her life, and I just wish her every happiness because she made him so happy”.
To find out more about CRY and the services they offer, log onto www.cry.ie